Fear of the unknown
I grew up in Saskatoon.
This was a (long long) while ago and the only place to go swimming in the winter was Harry Bailey pool. I remember there were a pair of one metre-high diving boards on each side of the deep end that I loved to jump off of. I would dive and flip and flop and be a mad fool.
Sometimes, they would close the leftmost one metre board and open the three metre board, which I never dove off of, but loved jumping from. I would fancy myself Greg Louganis (I said it was a while ago), and, with no grace but a lot of spunk, jump into the pool again and again and again.
Between the diving boards, there was a tower, with both a 5 m and 10 m platform. Every once in a while, they would close the rightmost diving board and open up the five metre tower. I remember watching other kids and adults going up there I’m jumping off, as well as the occasional diver. I remember being terrified watching them, yet strangely attracted at the same time.
I wanted to be able to jump for the 5 m tower but I was scared. I don’t remember how old I was when I finally sucked up the courage to climb the flights of steps up to the 5 m board but I remember standing there and looking down, marvelling at how high I was, the pool so far below. It seemed like if I jumped far enough, I might even miss the pool. I don’t remember how long I stood there looking out at the pool before finally screwing up my courage and leaping into the void.
I survived, as you probably figured out. I still remember the sensation of falling, faster and faster, for what seemed like too long. I know that it wasn’t that long, as it only takes a little over one second to fall five metres. But it felt like forever. And I remember the impact of the water, the way it drove my bathing suit up my butt. How long it took to reach the surface again, worried that I would run out of air before I finally made it up.
Thing is after doing it that first time, the second time was easier. The third time? Was a dawdle. I could do anything that day, I had faced down my fear, and discovered it wasn’t much to be afraid of after all. My world expanded that day. The list of things that I could do, things that were in my grass expanded. After jumping off the five metre board, I could do anything. (Well, except for jumping off the ten metre tower, but that was closed to the public.)
Fear can stop us from accomplishing our goals, or it can fuel us to new ones. It’s a question of how you face your fears. How you use them.
If you’ve been afraid to do a boudoir session, it’s okay. If you’re willing to face down your fears? Then feel free to contact me for a no-obligation, no pressure consultation today.