Happy Nu(de) Year
Welcome to 2025.
This is a time of self reflection and of resolutions, though I’m not a big fan of resolutions, because words without actions are just wind.
There’s a lot of common resolutions out there. This year I’m going to lose weight. Go to the gym. Stop smoking. Drink less.
I’d like to suggest another. Love yourself more. Love your body more. Don’t be so hard on yourself.
I’ve been thinking about this lately as I age and my body starts to change. In the last couple of years, I’ve developed diastis recti. This is normally a condition associated with pregnancy, but, being a dude, it’s instead developed from too much fat around the mid-section.
It’s easy to look at myself, at my gut and have reactions that range from distain to disgust. To feel like a failure at simply being.
And I know I’m not alone. We are all subject to images of bodily perfection on a daily basis. I have a friend who is moderately famous for being a hunk. Well built, athletic, and handsome.
I did a shoot with him a few years back during his off-training time and suggested he take off his shirt to get some beefcake images. He refused. Because his body fat was higher than 10 percent. He couldn’t accept that you couldn’t see the veins on his belly. Meanwhile, my insides are trying to get out. And we both suffer the same issue of negative self image.
So in the interest of self reflection, I propose a happy nude year. Not all the time. Like, you don’t have to spend all day every day naked, unless you want to. But it’s -20 out there right now. Wandering about naked would not be a good thing.
Rather, this year, let’s take the idea of self reflection literally. I want you to get naked and look at yourself in the mirror. Like, really look at yourself. Instead of focusing on the negatives, come up with positives, or at least the neutrals. It could simply be that this is the body that has got you through the last 30, 40, 50 years. That has woke up in the morning, carried you to work and brought you home again. That has brought life into this world, or that carried you to the end of that hike earlier this year. Look at yourself with a detached affection, with fondness and love. If you were a martian come down to earth, how would you describe the person that you see?
For some, maybe being positive is too far a stretch for now. There is a concept in therapy known as Mirror Exposure Therapy. The idea is to look at yourself in the mirror and describe yourself in neutral terms. You can do this with a therapist, but those can be hard to find in this corner of the north. Instead, you can use your phone’s voice memo feature to record your description.
I am not a therapist, nor do I play one on TV. If you are curious how this works, there are articles here here and here that describe the process. Some people might find this an uncomfortable experience to begin with, but familiarity is a key part of acceptance. You need to know your body and understand your body to get to a point of acceptance.
Ultimately, of course, the hope is to get you to a point where the idea of a beyond boudoir photo shoot is not something you hope for someday, but something you actively will seek out. Because your body? Is remarkable for what it has done and will continue doing for you, and I want to help you celebrate it.