Invisible Barriers

We are surrounded by invisible barriers. They block us in. Keep us trapped. 

These barriers don’t exist, but we act as if they do.

Take the four minute mile. For years, it was a known fact that humans couldn’t run a four minute mile. 

Then, Bannister broke that barrier in 1954. 

Now here’s the curious part, before he ran a mile in three minutes and 59 and a half seconds, nobody had ever done that. Two months later, two people (Bannister and John Landy) both ran the mile in under four minutes in the same race. Suddenly everybody was doing it. There were new records set every year, sometime every race. As of today, over 1400 athletes have run a four minute mile in competition, and the record sits at 3:43.13. Call it 2000 years and nobody could do it. Now, running a mile in under four minutes is the minimum entry for anyone (male) who wants to compete at a global level.

Sometimes, these invisible barriers are imposed on us from outside. Societal expectations. You can’t wear that in public. If you are really a good women, you must (or must not) do this, say this, act this way. There are values imposed on us by our shared groups, be they cultural, social or religious. Expectations on the role you must play in society. Maiden, matron, crone. 

Sometimes these barriers are one that we’ve built ourselves. “Oh no I can’t do that it’s too scary.”, or “too out there,” or “Too emotionally vulnerable?”

Maybe it’s something like a fear of singing in public even though your greatest love is to sing. Maybe it’s the fear of pursuing a career you always wanted to, but didn’t think we were good enough, or because it’s in a male dominated industry. We fear failure, and we fear success, so we define our own limitations. You look at your dreams, and  ask, what if I fall? 

To which, of course, the appropriate answer is: but what if you fly? 

Maybe you’re scared of doing a boudoir shoot. It’s too exposed. Maybe two exposed physically. Maybe too exposed mentally. I understand. I am an introvert. Making connections with people is scary to me. But it’s beneficial. Every real interaction changes who we are, in small ways, in big ways. Every time we contact deeply with someone, it affects us. Sometimes good, sometimes bad. The worst interactions are not the ones that leave us scarred; they are the ones that are meaningless. 

I understand this can be scary but I come into this no judgment, no prejudices, no condemnation. The only people who ever need to see these photos are you and me. If I fail to make that connection, fail to make you fall in love with the photos, there is no expectation that you will have to buy any. Nobody else will ever see the images without your permission.

Every shoot I do leaves me changed. Leaves me different than I was before. Each time, I have to try and knock down my own invisible walls, to push farther, to find a way to connect with you in a meaningful way. To overcome my shyness and fear of intimacy. But if you’re willing to take the chance, so am I. 

Note. The idea for this post came while I was taking my dog for a walk and listening to a Seth Godin book. I started dictating what I wanted to say into my phone. When I said we are surrounded by invisible barriers, Siri thought I said surrounded by invisible burritos.

Mmm. Invisible burritos.