Maiden, Matron, Myth

Mother of two. Can we do away with the whole “being a mother means you instantly become a frumpy mommy?”

One of the enduring images of womanhood is the maiden, matron, crone Triple Goddess image. The idea is that each of these symbolize a stage in the female life cycle. You are either a virginal maiden, a matronly mother bustling about the kitchen or a crone—a crotchety old woman.

While there are examples of triple Goddesses (the three graces, the Moirai, the Tridevi, etc), the idea that most pagan religions had a triple Goddess figure is more of a modern myth than based on actual historical practices. The concept was popularized by Robert Graves, who wrote about it in his book the White Goddess, published in 1948. It isn’t really a historical belief, but something that has developed in the last 100 years or so. Graves regarded her as the continuing muse of all true poetry, and speculatively imagined her ancient worship. But most modern scholars thing that Graves was stretching things a bit.

At the time, it was easy for feminists to grab onto the concept of a positive female deity, But if you stand back and look at it with a critical eye, it’s kinda insulting and puts women into these narrowly constrained boxes. You are either young and beautiful and innocent, middle aged, motherly and undesirable, or old and grey and dusty and dry.

While it doesn’t directly say so, it underlines the stereotype that once you become a mother, you are no longer attractive, no longer desirable, and if you are a crone, well, you are wise and cunning, but well removed from the desirable youth of the maiden.

Instead, let us embrace the multitudinousness of motherhood and womenhood—I am woman, I am legion. Just because you are a mother, does not mean that’s all you are. I am — and I never thought I would say this, ever — I am going to quote Alanis Morrissette here, who sang “I’m a bitch, I’m a lover, I’m a child, I’m a mother, I’m a sinner, I’m a saint…I’m your hell, I’m your dream.”

So, to all the moms out there who feel—who fear—they are only defined by their children…. you are a mother, yes, but you are so much more than that. You do not have to be just the matron. You can still hold on to the sensuality of the maiden, you can grasp for the wisdom of the crone. And no matter your age, you are beautiful. You contain multitudes.

As you probably can tell, I’m not a big fan of putting people into boxes. It’s okay to be a mother and still be sexy. It’s okay to be a grandmother and celebrate your sensuality and desirousness. And no matter where in life you are, it’s okay to celebrate your beauty—inside and out—with a Beyond Boudoir shoot.