Why your objection is not valid

Last time, I talked about why you might not want to hire me. I’m not trying to dissuade you, but just letting you know what to expect. I believe in defining expectations.

But there are a number of you out there who are looking at my website, looking at all the pretty pictures and thinking “if only…”

You want to do it, but you think you need to lose weight, or that you’re too old, or that you’re not beautiful enough.

One of the photographers I respect calls this “head trash”. Head trash is the negative thoughts, feelings, or emotions you have about yourself and about life. About the assumptions you make. These are negative beliefs about things, and not always the truth.

What follows are some of the excuses people give as to why they don’t want to do a photoshoot which are not valid.

I need to lose weight first. Now, I don’t want you to think I don’t want you to be the best you that you can be—however you define that—but you need to celebrate who you are now. Yes, each day is a process of change, and you seek to be better tomorrow than you were today, but don’t think that your attractiveness or self worth is tied into your weight. Learning to love who you are right now is an important part of the process. Society has created this false image of what is beautiful; don’t fall for it. Beauty is an internal process. Sexy is an attitude. And if you do hit that magical goal of “perfect weight?” Do another shoot. But we celebrate every body here, no matter size, shape, age or tonality.

I don’t want my pictures online. Well, that’s easy. I never post photos without written permission from our clients. Once we’re done, I will ask if you’d be okay with me sharing some or all your images. You can say yes to certain photos, to all the photos, to only the ones that don’t show your face, or to none of them. I’m okay with that. Also, I don’t tag people with names unless they say that’s okay, too.

Of course, I do appreciate when I am able to show images; chances are you saw an image I shot and wanted to do a shoot with me. Maybe someone will see your photo and say “I want to look that beautiful.” But, if you don’t want them shared, they will never see the light of day.

I’m too old. No, you’re not. Beauty is not just a physical trait, but a mental and spiritual one. The more year’s you’ve lived, the more that inner beauty shines through. The more your smile radiates. You may not be 18 anymore, but you are you, and that makes you special. And this is a self perpetuating argument. In five years, you will look back and think “I should have done it five years ago. I was so young/beautiful/full of life” back then. There is no time like the present.

I’m not photogenic. (Actually, I prefer it when people say “I don’t take good photos.” My response? “That’s okay, I take amazing photos.”) We live in an age where the amount of time invested in a photograph is about as long as it takes to pull out our cell phone. Those are snapshots. They are meant to capture a moment in time, not a glimpse of your soul. What I do is photography. Portraiture. Try and capture the indelible you. Of course, we’re also going to make you look good, too. Get you all dressed up (or down); get your hair and make-up looking perfect…

I have nothing to wear. Then don’t wear anything at all. Too risqué? That’s okay. Wrap yourself in a sheet. For me, it’s not so much about the clothes as it is about the person wearing them; some of my favourite shoots have been with someone wearing their favourite tee shirt and a pair of panties. Sexy is not what you wear, it’s how you wear it. It’s how you feel when wearing it. If you like, we can wrap you in a white sheet. Or steal something from your partner’s closet (especially if it is a gift session). Or you can go out and treat yourself to something new. May we suggest Victoria’s Attic as a great place to get quality garments with top notch service?

I have no one to do a boudoir shoot for. Then do it for yourself. Indeed, there is no better person to do it for. Do it as a way to see how other people see you. Do it for posterity, so you can pull the pictures out in five years, ten years and remember how much fun you had and how good you looked (then do it again, to show how beautiful you still are.) Do it to show your friends what a badass you are.

I’m not comfortable with getting naked in front of a strange man. Well, first off, you’re very perceptive if you’ve already decided I’m strange. Second, there is no expectation of getting naked. Remember, this is more about attitude than it is about skin. I’d rather you be fully clothed and emotionally exposed than the reverse.

Of course, don’t let that scare you, either. We’re not going to dive deep into your psyche to find your deepest trauma; I want to celebrate you at your best. Vulnerable? Maybe, but strong and powerful and sexy and majestic.

Know that I am a photographer first and foremost. That Y chromosome has little to do with my ability to take a great picture. What is important is my ability to capture perfect moments. To capture the beauty that is you.

If you’re still not sure, the easiest way to decide whether you’re comfortable around me is to meet me. We have a no pressure, no obligation consultation. Let’s get together for coffee and talk about your vision, and you can decide if you want to shoot with me or not.

I can’t afford it. In my last post, I said that if you go into this with the wrong attitude, you are simply spending money. But if you go in with the right attitude—with the desire to create art and celebrate your beauty and to see yourself through my eyes, it is not an expense, it is an investment.

Still, it’s hard to spend money, especially on yourself. Because women often are told that their role is to sacrifice, to place others before themselves. I get it. But I don’t want you to let this moment slip away. So there’s a couple of options. 1) You don’t have to pay for it all at once. We have an interest-free payment plan, so you can pay it off slowly. 2)We have a referral program, where you earn credits towards your shoot or product simply by telling your friends.

But what if I don’t like the photos? Then I have failed in my mission as a photographer. If you truly don’t like any of your photos, then you don’t have to buy any images. There is no obligation to purchase anything. Indeed, I offer what I call a “Get it right guarantee”. If you don’t truly like the images, they will be deleted and we will do it again, taking into mind your consideration, until we get it right. And if you don’t like those images? Then you can have your money back.