Beyond the bad
“Fun and enjoyable” are a big part of Beyond Boudoir sessions. It’s okay to laugh and smile and have fun.
I am a firm believer in the adage that when you push your own limits, you expand your horizons as a person.
Going beyond your own limits can be freeing. It can be challenging yes, but it can also expand your worldview and help develop who you are as a person.
Sometimes though going beyond your comfort level can be… icky. It can make you feel bad. This is not the type of going beyond that I am in favour of. This is supposed to be a good experience, not a bad one. Uplifting, not down casting.
As a photographer, my goal is to help coach you and guide you. It is not force you for coerce you into doing things that make you feel uncomfortable. Yes I want you to leave the shoot with expanded horizons, able to see yourself in a different light. I want to push you past the self-limiting thoughts, past the mental blocks, past the “I’m not pretty/skinny/blonde/tanned enough” lies. Past the societal preconceptions of what you should and should not be allowed to do. Past the fears and doubts and poor self image.
However, I don’t want to push you past your moral boundaries. I don’t want you coming out of the shoot feeling bad. This is hard, because everybody is different. Where that line is that pushes past challenging and into oppressive is found at different places with different people. Or what offends or triggers. Some women are empowered by being modest. Some are empowered by being sexually liberated. Some are challenged by revealing their underwear. Others…are more liberal.
It is not my job to try and tell you which one you are, or to try and guess. This is why I always meet with potential clients beforehand. I want to talk with you and find out where your boundaries are. What your goals are. And if you choose to go beyond what you thought possible? Well, I’m here to celebrate you, to encourage you and to lift you up as you discover that the limits you thought you had were just mental blocks. And if you decide that you’re not comfortable with the level of exposure (mental, emotional, physical) that you had previously agreed to? Well, I’m here to celebrate you, to encourage you and to lift you up.
That goes both ways. If you realize that you are actually quite comfortable going beyond the limits you set, you are encouraged to do so.
Consider this your permission slip to have whatever conversation you want with me. You get to define the shoot space as you want to. Nothing I say is a command or an order. I have no authority over you. If there is a power dynamic, it is all in your hands. Nothing I say is an attempt to coerce you in any way. They are suggestions, and if you decide you don’t like the suggestion, you don’t have to do anything. I’m hoping that you will trust me to not do anything to harm you or mock you or present you in an unflattering way, but sometimes, things come up in a shoot that you didn’t even realize was there.
As the person in front of the camera, you are the most important part of the shoot. Your comfort is of primary importance. For instance, if I were to ask you to go stand on the balcony railing, but you’re afraid of heights and have no sense of balance and get vertigo going up stairs, you can say no. More than that, you're also the one who is going to be exposing yourself: maybe physically, but also emotionally. This may be challenging or scary. It’s okay to say no, if that’s what you want to do.
Communication is important. Openness is important. I might not recognize things that make you uncomfortable. It’s okay to tell me. And I will do my best to ask the right questions, but I am not perfect, and I might forget to ask. This is about celebrating you, so you are free to re-define the boundaries that you may have previously laid out. It’s okay.
I’m not here for my portfolio, not for a significant other you might want to gift the photos to. I’m not looking for awards or acclaim. I’m here for you.