I don’t make any secret of the fact that I’m a guy, but, if you’ve been following this page for a while, you’ll know that I—like many of you—have issues with self worth. With the way I look. “A face for radio, and a voice for print,” I tell people.

And I know that it’s mostly in my head, except when it’s not.

I just had a Zoom consult with a potential client.

Or rather, was supposed to.

I set up the meeting, and watched as she connected to the meeting, then disconnected. Connected, then disconnected.

“Having troubles?” I sent her.

“Yeah,” she said. “I keep connecting to this guy. Nasty looking.”

“No, that’s just me,” I replied, defeated.

“Oh,” she said. “This isn’t working. Thanks.”

She might have been trying to blame the tech, but what she really was saying is “you’re not working for me.”

Sigh. Merry Christmas.

I know, I know, welcome to the life of the average female, where you get judged instantly based on how you look.

And I guess, one of the big reasons in doing what I do, is to try and combat the negativity—both from ourselves and from others—that we as people have to deal with. To show you that you are beautiful. That you have a smile that lights up the room and a butt that deserves a second look.

I want to show people the beauty and power that others see in them.

But when what others see in you a “nasty looking” guy, I feel like crawling into bed and staying there until spring.

I know part of it is setting expectations. This is boudoir. Boudoir photographers are all female, right? So to come across a male shooting boudoir, especially one that doesn’t look like Michael Sasser? That’s creepy. Or at least, disconcerting.

And I’ve got pictures of me on the site. Or at least, a picture. (See earlier note about face for radio…) But right now I am running a Christmas promotion, and not everybody is going to check out the about me page, and will miss the fact that I’m a dude. So when they drop into a Zoom call and see my luscious full beard and receding hairline when they were expecting someone a little more…feminine? It’s no wonder that it’s a bit of a shock.

And I don’t know that I have any great positive messages to pull out of this incident. Something upbeat and re-affirming to say, other than: if you struggle with self-image, know that I’m right there with you.

Today is the shortest day of the year. Here’s hoping for more light as we move foreward.